Most of us are used to zoning out during household chores or tuning out the noise of everyday life. But what if those “mundane” moments—how we treat our families, our coworkers, the people under our roof—are exactly where our deepest beliefs show up?
That’s the kind of challenge we run into in Colossians 3:18–4:1, where Paul takes his sweeping message about who Jesus is and what it means to follow Him—and brings it crashing down into the most ordinary, intimate places: marriage, parenting, work.
It’s one of those parts of the Bible that makes modern readers shift in their seats. The words “wives, submit to your husbands” and “slaves, obey your masters” don’t exactly sit well with our 21st-century ears. And understandably so.
But before we write it off or breeze past it, it’s worth slowing down to see what’s actually going on here, and why it might matter more than we think.
Understanding the Culture Behind the Words
Back in Paul’s day, “household codes” were a common part of Greco-Roman life. These were written instructions about how families and households should be structured, and they almost always put men in total control—of wives, children, and slaves.
Aristotle, a major thinker whose influence still lingered in Paul’s time, wrote that some people were simply born to rule, and others to be ruled. That’s the air people breathed.
So when Paul writes to a small group of Jesus-followers living in that world, it’s not surprising that he uses the same household code format. What’s surprising is how he flips it.
He addresses wives, children, and slaves directly—a radical move in a culture where none of them had much social status or autonomy. Even more radical? He speaks to them as full moral agents, capable of making meaningful decisions, responsible before God. That alone would’ve been shocking to the original listeners.
But Paul doesn’t stop there.
A New Center of Gravity
Over and over, Paul reframes the conversation with one phrase: in the Lord.
- “Wives, submit… as is fitting in the Lord.”
- “Children, obey… for this pleases the Lord.”
- “Slaves, obey… not to please people, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.”
Everything is now done for someone new. Jesus—not cultural expectations, not Roman authority, not social norms—is the ultimate reference point.
And that changes everything.
Submission isn’t about subordination—it’s about mutual love shaped by the example of Jesus. Leadership isn’t about control—it’s about serving others the way Christ did. Obedience isn’t rooted in fear—it’s a response to being seen, valued, and given a new identity.
Even slaves—people who were treated as property—are told they have an inheritance in Christ. That’s wild. In a world that erased their past and denied them a future, Paul is saying: You belong. You have worth. You have a reward no one can take.
That kind of message was (and still is) deeply countercultural.
The Trajectory Matters
It’s true—Paul didn’t launch a direct attack on the institution of slavery. That bothers some readers. But it’s also true that, within the context of his world, Paul planted the seeds that would later grow into abolition and social transformation.
Throughout the New Testament, you see a trajectory toward mutuality, dignity, and equality:
- “There is neither slave nor free… for you are all one in Christ.” (Galatians 3:28)
- “In Christ, there is no partiality.”
- “Welcome him no longer as a slave, but as a beloved brother.” (Philemon 1:16)
Paul wasn’t reinforcing the system. He was subverting it from within—slowly, quietly, but unmistakably.
And that same subversive spirit shows up in the way he speaks to parents and children, husbands and wives, employers and workers.
The pattern is consistent: Let the way of Jesus shape how you treat others.
What This Means for Us
We might not live in ancient Rome, but we still live in a world where power dynamics exist in marriages, in parenting, and in workplaces. The temptation to dominate, dismiss, or disconnect is always close at hand.
But Paul’s message challenges us to ask:
- In my home, is love the driving force?
- In my parenting, am I cultivating encouragement or discouragement?
- In my work, am I performing for people or working as if it’s for God?
- In my relationships, am I seeking control—or Christlike care?
What we do in our ordinary lives—how we show up in relationships no one else sees—matters. It’s where real transformation happens.
Not through flashy moments. But through daily choices to live as if Jesus is Lord… even in the kitchen, the cubicle, the carpool lane.
For a deeper dive into the book of Colossians, explore our series ‘Beyond the Static: A Study of Colossians.’
